This blog has been a few days in making.
Sometime back, my day started on a really sad and jarring note, I woke to the news of demise of the nice lady opposite my house. I was saddened; I had shared a warm smile and a cup of coffee with her on more occasions than one.
What really shook me was the news that she passed of heart attack, and delayed medical response. She got a heart attack around 3.30 midnight. The husband didn’t know driving. He went out looking for rickshaw, and then spent another 1 hour looking for a driver. We stay right opposite to his house and he knows that we all drive, for that matter there are over a dozen cars in my lane, almost every house has someone who drives a four wheeler. But he didn’t come to any one of us for help.
This incident made me feel vulnerable. What was going on in his mind, did he really think that we would not help him. If so, then what kind of a world are we living in now? Where even an emergency won’t force us to ask help from the very people we live beside.
Where are the days when neighbors were like family, to support, to trouble and just be there when you needed some help!! The modern thinking is intervening with our capabilities to trust and form bonds. Or is it just that we are not capable of forming a relationship that is not based on mutual profitability.
Suddenly I feel, an era has passed us by and this new age is not as pretty as the one gone by!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Trust and Betrayal
Trust – such a sweet little innocent word, but one that can bring more heartache than anyone can ever imagine. We keep spouting verses on how trust brings happiness. Lets look at it a from a different angle today. Today I am not feeling like trusting anyone.
I believe: Trust brings Betrayal … surprised. Don’t be, this is the reality of life. How many times have we confided in someone, thinking that all our deep dark secrets will remain just that, secrets, Only to find the next day that we are the main topic of discussion all over the office or school or college. Places change, scenarios change but the pain that this betrayal causes, doesn’t change. But inspite of all this we keep repeating this mistake through our life, again and again and again.
Recently someone told me that a friend is having a bad time in her relationship, I was surprised, and I asked him how he knew. He knew because he was a confidante of that girl. I asked him why he told me this. His explanation made a world of sense inspite of being so utterly lacking in sense. According to him I am a friend of that girl so he thought I should know. Now this got me worried. I have tones of friends, but I don’t go around confiding in everyone. Secrets are shared with people you think are capable of handling them with the maturity that they deserve. But what if these same people think that few others should know about them, just coz you are friends with them. Within no time everything is a public knowledge and you are left wondering what your fault in all this was.
Your friend might not necessarily be betraying you, but then intentional or not, the damage is done and you are left facing the consequences. But step aside and think why feel betrayed. Someone recently told me; “when something goes out from you, it’s no longer a secret”. Secrets are what you harbor in yourself. What really matters never go out. Does that mean that we intentionally set ourselves up for a betrayal? May be this is a human tendency to check the authenticity of a relationship.
Trust actually goes deeper than this, a simple act of squealing on your colleague, or ratting on your friend might seem like a condemnable act of betrayal, but thinking rationally you will realize that it wasn’t even important. What is today’s news always become history tomorrow. What seemed to bring the world down around our ears yesterday will seem like a joke after a few years. Remember the time when you had a crush on a cute guy from your school and your friend ratted it out in front of the whole class, you would have thought that the world will end, today that seems like a joke and you laugh. Keep remembering, such incidents will seem plenty in your life.
All the jokes apart, sometimes these silly little things make a huge impact in our life. At such time, everything seems tilted on an axis. We feel angry and lost, but the prudent thing to remember would be that nothing remains same forever, as the time passes all relationships undergoes a change, sometimes for better and most of the times for worse. At times you have lost a relationship without even realizing that it’s gone. By the time you realize this, it’s already too late to do any kind of damage control. Then the process of all your private little details start becoming public. This hurts, but then what we should have realized is that nothing is constant.
The things to learn from it all is that, trust will always turn on you. The intelligent thing would be to never let anyone know what is personal to you. Things you don’t want anyone to know, don’t tell it to anyone. Sometimes its better to be your own confidante. Life is lot simpler when you don’t have to keep looking over your back.
I wrote a simple line, which explains my thought on this matter:
“I felt a knife sticking in my back, the stinging pain bought tears to my eyes,
But I smiled when I turned back; after all it was my best friend guarding my back”
I read a novel sometime back, it said,
“Kabhi Vishwas nahin karoo, kyunki vishwas main hi vish ka vas hota hai. Jahan vishwas hota hai, wahin vishwasghaat hota hai”
I believe: Trust brings Betrayal … surprised. Don’t be, this is the reality of life. How many times have we confided in someone, thinking that all our deep dark secrets will remain just that, secrets, Only to find the next day that we are the main topic of discussion all over the office or school or college. Places change, scenarios change but the pain that this betrayal causes, doesn’t change. But inspite of all this we keep repeating this mistake through our life, again and again and again.
Recently someone told me that a friend is having a bad time in her relationship, I was surprised, and I asked him how he knew. He knew because he was a confidante of that girl. I asked him why he told me this. His explanation made a world of sense inspite of being so utterly lacking in sense. According to him I am a friend of that girl so he thought I should know. Now this got me worried. I have tones of friends, but I don’t go around confiding in everyone. Secrets are shared with people you think are capable of handling them with the maturity that they deserve. But what if these same people think that few others should know about them, just coz you are friends with them. Within no time everything is a public knowledge and you are left wondering what your fault in all this was.
Your friend might not necessarily be betraying you, but then intentional or not, the damage is done and you are left facing the consequences. But step aside and think why feel betrayed. Someone recently told me; “when something goes out from you, it’s no longer a secret”. Secrets are what you harbor in yourself. What really matters never go out. Does that mean that we intentionally set ourselves up for a betrayal? May be this is a human tendency to check the authenticity of a relationship.
Trust actually goes deeper than this, a simple act of squealing on your colleague, or ratting on your friend might seem like a condemnable act of betrayal, but thinking rationally you will realize that it wasn’t even important. What is today’s news always become history tomorrow. What seemed to bring the world down around our ears yesterday will seem like a joke after a few years. Remember the time when you had a crush on a cute guy from your school and your friend ratted it out in front of the whole class, you would have thought that the world will end, today that seems like a joke and you laugh. Keep remembering, such incidents will seem plenty in your life.
All the jokes apart, sometimes these silly little things make a huge impact in our life. At such time, everything seems tilted on an axis. We feel angry and lost, but the prudent thing to remember would be that nothing remains same forever, as the time passes all relationships undergoes a change, sometimes for better and most of the times for worse. At times you have lost a relationship without even realizing that it’s gone. By the time you realize this, it’s already too late to do any kind of damage control. Then the process of all your private little details start becoming public. This hurts, but then what we should have realized is that nothing is constant.
The things to learn from it all is that, trust will always turn on you. The intelligent thing would be to never let anyone know what is personal to you. Things you don’t want anyone to know, don’t tell it to anyone. Sometimes its better to be your own confidante. Life is lot simpler when you don’t have to keep looking over your back.
I wrote a simple line, which explains my thought on this matter:
“I felt a knife sticking in my back, the stinging pain bought tears to my eyes,
But I smiled when I turned back; after all it was my best friend guarding my back”
I read a novel sometime back, it said,
“Kabhi Vishwas nahin karoo, kyunki vishwas main hi vish ka vas hota hai. Jahan vishwas hota hai, wahin vishwasghaat hota hai”
AND HERE I THOUGHT IT WILL LAST FOREVER
looking out of the car that i am travelling in, all i could see was my life, which flashed at the same speed as the scenery outside.
I might be broke today, but i have a cache ful of memories, a million happy anecdotes to remember, forever,those i think is all mine. But what i thought would last forever, is what i lost today :(.
You all must be ready kill me by now, you want the story ..not my musings of it. Well here it goes.
Once upon a time (doesnt all good things that went bad start like this) there was a princess (always) and a handsome prince (isnt he always handsome, i would think it would get boring after sometime). Rats .. this is not looking grim enough. I am starting again. Dont quit reading ........
The dark night was shattered by the screams from 342 - kirti villa, i jerked awake and gave myself a severe neck ache. Anyways, i rushed out to see what happened. Turned out that the young lad next door had borrowed his dads BMW (as in without telling him) and dented it. So he was getting a public lashing (of words only .. dont get imaginative on my story). Well, with night well and thoughrly ruined, i came back cursing all the idiot youngsters and hyperactive dads (he should be sleeping at his age and seeing all the fender benders in the morning). Now that i was awake i started to feel jittery, so made self a tall glass of hot cofee (i love it,so no gyan please) and logged onto my comp to do some work.
Unfortunately i actually ended up working (thinking and actually doing being two different things). Well, as u must have guessed i was so tired when i had to got office i almost slept while driving to office. Office is one chilled out place, we come in check mails, reply to worthy ones, see the days calender, then go for coffee, then come back and say hi hello to everyone, do work and then its time for lunch ... then u guessed it a little walk and then by the time we actually sit down to work we realise we need some more coffee .. so its back to canteen and by then well, the official work day is over and we are back home. (dont tell this to my boss, for christ sake, not that it makes much difference now :(, those good old days are long over)
Well , that day was a little different, the moment i entered office, i saw everyone was glued onto the Laptop and horrors of horrors WORKING. What was going on, since no one bothered to look at me, i sat at my cube and started working. As in checking mail etc etc. It went on for sometime and i got tired, so i asked if anyone was coming for coffee,... no one .. not one peep from anyone .. so i also continued working :( .. after some time i logged on to facebook and guess what ... IT WAS BLOCKED ....
BOO hOO .. it coudnlt be .. why ...i was so shocked i could do nothing and then i pinged and asked if they knew that FB is blocked ... well now i got a reply.. a whole bundle of it that i almost got a whiplash .. thats why everyone was working and well praying that god (read IT) would forgive us for our sins (more surfing than working) and restore FB. But guess what, wasnt going to happen.
SO thats how came this story of AND HERE I THOUGHT IT WILL LAST FOREVER!!
U can kill me :D but u need to catch me first :D
I might be broke today, but i have a cache ful of memories, a million happy anecdotes to remember, forever,those i think is all mine. But what i thought would last forever, is what i lost today :(.
You all must be ready kill me by now, you want the story ..not my musings of it. Well here it goes.
Once upon a time (doesnt all good things that went bad start like this) there was a princess (always) and a handsome prince (isnt he always handsome, i would think it would get boring after sometime). Rats .. this is not looking grim enough. I am starting again. Dont quit reading ........
The dark night was shattered by the screams from 342 - kirti villa, i jerked awake and gave myself a severe neck ache. Anyways, i rushed out to see what happened. Turned out that the young lad next door had borrowed his dads BMW (as in without telling him) and dented it. So he was getting a public lashing (of words only .. dont get imaginative on my story). Well, with night well and thoughrly ruined, i came back cursing all the idiot youngsters and hyperactive dads (he should be sleeping at his age and seeing all the fender benders in the morning). Now that i was awake i started to feel jittery, so made self a tall glass of hot cofee (i love it,so no gyan please) and logged onto my comp to do some work.
Unfortunately i actually ended up working (thinking and actually doing being two different things). Well, as u must have guessed i was so tired when i had to got office i almost slept while driving to office. Office is one chilled out place, we come in check mails, reply to worthy ones, see the days calender, then go for coffee, then come back and say hi hello to everyone, do work and then its time for lunch ... then u guessed it a little walk and then by the time we actually sit down to work we realise we need some more coffee .. so its back to canteen and by then well, the official work day is over and we are back home. (dont tell this to my boss, for christ sake, not that it makes much difference now :(, those good old days are long over)
Well , that day was a little different, the moment i entered office, i saw everyone was glued onto the Laptop and horrors of horrors WORKING. What was going on, since no one bothered to look at me, i sat at my cube and started working. As in checking mail etc etc. It went on for sometime and i got tired, so i asked if anyone was coming for coffee,... no one .. not one peep from anyone .. so i also continued working :( .. after some time i logged on to facebook and guess what ... IT WAS BLOCKED ....
BOO hOO .. it coudnlt be .. why ...i was so shocked i could do nothing and then i pinged and asked if they knew that FB is blocked ... well now i got a reply.. a whole bundle of it that i almost got a whiplash .. thats why everyone was working and well praying that god (read IT) would forgive us for our sins (more surfing than working) and restore FB. But guess what, wasnt going to happen.
SO thats how came this story of AND HERE I THOUGHT IT WILL LAST FOREVER!!
U can kill me :D but u need to catch me first :D
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